


Starting Over

by horatiofrog



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Found Family, Gen, Guilt, because we seriously need more of the Justin/Amber/Jensen family dynamic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 03:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15379308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horatiofrog/pseuds/horatiofrog
Summary: How can one day, one piece of paper, change a life?  Justin ponders the answer the night after his adoption goes through.





	Starting Over

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Destiny Which Makes Us Brothers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14782280) by [Bitterblue33](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bitterblue33/pseuds/Bitterblue33). 



> I'm in love with Bitterblue33's _A Destiny Which Makes Us Brothers_ series, and this was my take on what Justin might be thinking shortly after his adoption was finalized.

The kitchen was dark, save for the cast of light coming off the front hall where a small lamp burned, lighting a path in the expanse of night. At the small table, a lone figure sat, file folder open in front, papers spilling onto the wooden surface.

There it was, in black and white. Justin’s fingers kept tracing the spot on his new birth certificate where the name _Amber Irene Foley_ should have been. In its place was a new name – _Lainie Elizabeth Jensen_ , a woman who had known him only at the worst point of his life and still decided to take a chance on him. 

A small smile crept along his lips as he thought of Mrs. Jensen staring at both he and Clay the morning of his testimony, ready to do battle with those daring to inflict pain on either her son or the kid they’d been housing. What was it she’d heard her say, the night he’d run off?

_I’m trying to keep the kids safe, if only they’d both stop fighting us._

_Us._ That was a new concept. It wasn’t just Mrs. Jensen that had been concerned, but Mr. Jensen as well. Granted, Justin was used to people like Mrs. Jensen was on a really bad day – authoritative, used to having control – but Mr. Jensen had been a surprise. He was _nothing_ like the parade of men his own mother had brought into his life. Mostly, they were interested in fucking his mother and getting high. For all any of them were concerned, Justin might just as well have been a piece of furniture or a dust ball forming on a forgotten shelf somewhere.

Truth be told, Justin rather liked Mr. Jensen. He traced the name on the document where the word _unknown_ used to reside: _Matthew Clay Jensen._ Justin liked seeing it on a document that was his, and his alone. He wasn’t used to being around a man who didn’t hit first and scream at him later. He like the fact that Mr. Jensen _talked_ rather than struck or shouted. A twinge of guilt still remained every time he flinched when Mr. Jensen approached him a little too quickly, or had an arm raised a little too high. Justin wanted to believe his therapist when she said it would just take time for his mind to realize that not all men were intent on harming him.

Still, there was this deep pit that was making itself known in the buried recesses of his stomach. Justin thought of his mother; of the small, bony framed woman with sunken brown eyes and dirty hair. As happy as he was about the day’s development, he wondered if he wasn’t betraying her by going through with the adoption. He could hear her voice, niggling in the back of his head: _you’re almost a man, baby. And you left. Remember, you promised – you wouldn’t leave me this time._

Justin shook his head, trying in vain to quiet the voice brought on by guilt. He remembered the countless times he’d come home to seeing her lying over a chair, passed out from her thrice-daily fix. He saw in his mind’s eye the empty refrigerator, the mold growing in the most obvious crevices of the tiny bathroom, of wondering whether the water would turn on or the lights would work. He thought of Seth, pissed, high, and domineering as fuck. He remembered those hands nearly strangling him against the wall of the sad, crappy apartment that had been _his_ home, his and his mother’s. 

Justin remembered his mother’s last words to him: _I can’t leave._ It still baffled him, really. How could she choose _that_ over her only child?

He thought of Mrs. Jensen’s words to him, the morning he testified. She wanted him to know the risks, of what consequences might come from his actions. _There’s always consequences, Justin,_ she’d said. _Whether they come immediately or over the course of a lifetime, there’s always consequences. The question is, do you know what they are, and are you willing to take them when they come?_

Justin had. He had, and he did. He remembered Sheri’s words too: _I spent five months trying to make up for what I did. Now I know, it’s just gonna take the rest of my life. So maybe this is where I start._

Perhaps this – letting go of his mother and her bad influences, embracing the new family he’d somehow stumbled into – _this_ was how he started.


End file.
